I want to talk about it, but that’s hard to do in prim-and-proper-polite society. I can’t help feeling the need to keep it ‘in the family,’ around people who can understand and enjoy what I’m talking about. Any discussion of what I do requires a lot of careful probing to see if these people are cool. Will they be in on it with me? Or, will I scare them into yanking their children off the street as I walk past? It would be easier if I wrote ‘erotica.’ I don’t. I write porn. Some people go on and on about the distinction until they’re blue in the face, but it’s just the same as ‘lingerie’ as opposed to ‘underpants.’ It’s got nothing to do with quality or substance, it’s all about attitude. Porn is dirty, erotica is not. Erotica can’t be dirty, it’s too busy being snooty. Half the time it’s not about sex at all, and it’s about as titillating as teatime with Martha Stewart. Have you ever looked at one of those collections of Erotica in the local Barnes & Noble? No, not the collected. To be dumped at the last minute was a personal insult under any circumstances, but on the night she'd decided to put out? That was humiliating.She wondered, had she played it too cool on their two previous outings and he'd lost patience? But it was not unusual for a woman to wait for the third date to come across. Perhaps he'd found a sure thing, someone easier than her for tonight. It was easy to agree with her son's statement that it was George's loss, but she still felt rejected. She began to smooth her ruffled feathers with alcohol, apricot brandy to be exact.The sweet, fruity tasting liquor went down easily and did its job; elevating her mood and putting her in good humor. By the end of their meal, she had downed four and, not being big drinker, she was noticeably under the influence. She wasn't wasted, but the effects were evident. When they returned to the apartment she headed to her bedroom, telling her son she "wanted to get out of these damned glad rags".Alone in her room,.
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